Sobriety sucks sometimes

Sobriety sucks sometimes. Not a positive statement, I mean it’s so easy to self-medicate yourself to a level of absolute bliss. AA was a motivational factor, however it became too much of an inside club. I’m not knocking it what so ever, just wasn’t for me. I think the biggest motivation for me to clean up was my family. When I realized that life wasn’t intended to revolve around a self-induced euphoric sensation, things became clearer. I always wondered what made people gravitate towards living outside of reality. Our mind is wired to work a certain way, yet when things don’t go as planned we deliberately counter act that natural wiring and self-induce our minds to a place that escapes reality. I can attest to this fact. Call it PTS or depression, regardless of what causes this act of self-destruction; it’s a reality to many people. The only difference is that I’m one of the few that will admit it. Now this might seem to be a strange intro, but there truly is a point. As I get older I find myself holding to my personal convictions. One of which is that I’m a Father, Husband, and somewhat of a public figure in my little village. I’ve realized that people do look up to me. Though that statement sounds narcissistic, it’s the truth. I’ve always picked my friends wisely; I need people with depth and substance in my life, if any reason just to have a certain level of sanity. I deviate from standard mundane conversation for the fact that I now realize that every day we wake up, we are one day closer to death, This past year has shown me that through life nothing is bound in perfection. Someone once said that when you make the decision to become sober, shit will still happen, you just don’t have to drink over it. That has stuck with me for the past 18 months. I’m Mickey, and everyday I’m in recovery