Dear Dad

Dad,

I think the biggest changing point in my life was 8 years ago. I’ve written about it before. But today is different.  Today 5/21/12 is the date of your death. I hate the word death, but it’s a reality. Something you told me in your last days was to never live life with regrets. To always follow my dreams, and be kind to people.  

Dad, you were a very analytical man, avid reader, deep thinker, sometimes intense, yet had eccentric sprinkles around your personality. You didn’t care what people thought of you. Hell, you were  Marko!  I learned a lot about you in your last months of life. We both knew you were leaving yet it was an unspoken topic. When you lose someone you go through certain steps that evententully help you process the reality of death.

 Losing you essentially affected all aspects of my daily life. I would  put on this smile and say things like “thank God your in a better place”, but inside I was  pissed off that you left at such a young age. My mind would races, anxiety would creep in, and I started the form an “F” it attitude.  It not only affected me,  but it affected everyone  around me. I started  to not care what people thought of me because I realize I only have one chance in life.

After you passed away,people would commend me for giving my loss to God, but I was really pissed off at God. I know that offends the religious folks, but it’s the truth. Last year I had no choice but to open up and let it all out. It was painful, it hurt, it really pissed me off, but it showed me who I am. I lost a lot of relationships during the process, I just made the decision to stop being fake and face your death head on. I learned to speak my mind at the cost of offending others.

Had they known what was going on inside my head maybe things would have been different, but instead of reaching out, they decided to take offence over mundane things I would write about?  I’m not judging, just stating facts. You were the only person to give me sound advice, and now that you’re gone, I’ve had to learn things on my own. You were my best friend. I could tell you anything without being judged, because you understood me. I will never forget holding your hand as you took your last breath. I kissed you on your head and said good bye. I was so angry that day. As I’ve had 8 years to digest your death, I’ve realized that life is fragile.

The biggest complement I’ve ever received is when people say “You’re just like your Dad” It’s comforting.  Dad I love you, you’re in my heart for ever, and on this day I choose to celebrate your life by reminiscing on all those special moments we shared together.

Sir, you lived the Good Life.

Your son,
Mickey

Christians with Tattoos

I’m hoping this will help believer with tattoos, I was motivated to post this after a conversation I had with a friend of mind. He was “Bible bashed” because of his appearance. I know his heart, and think it's unfair to judge someone based on the way they look. This is a pretty lengthy blog, however I hope it brings insight.

If the Scriptures tell us that tattooing is a behavior that God says is wrong in any way, then it's certainly off limits for God's followers. But does the Bible teach that God forbids tattoos and other cosmetic body modifications?

The main scripture that concerns many people with regards to tattooing is this verse from the remarkable Old Testament book of Leviticus

“You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:28 — New American Standard

At first glance this passage seems to indicate that tattoos are forbidden for Christians. To comprehend the Scripture correctly, we must always examine the whole of Scripture and look at the particular context of a given passage. (This is call Biblical Hermeneutics, Google it)

 If we neglect deep study we will never truly understand the intent of the author.   We need to look at the word(s) of the above passage in full connection with the surrounding verses, (once again this is basic Biblical Hermeneutics) and in context with the historic setting at the time of its writing. When we study below the surface of this text, we then will see more clearly what God says about tattoos. The verse quoted above is part of a larger passage of scripture seen here.

 Leviticus 19:26–31 — New American Standard ) ‘You shall not eat anything with the blood, nor practice divination or soothsaying. 27 You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard. 28 ‘You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD. 29 ‘Do not profane your daughter by making her a harlot, so that the land will not fall to harlotry and the land become full of lewdness. 30 ‘You shall keep My sabbaths and revere My sanctuary; I am the LORD. 31 ‘Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.

In this passage God is speaking to his covenant people of Israel. He is specifically telling them to stay far from the religious practices of the surrounding  groups. The prohibited religious practices in these verses include eating bloody meat, fortune telling, certain hair cuts related to the priests of false cults, cutting or marking the body for dead relatives, cultic prostitution and consulting psychics.

 All these practices would lead God's beloved people away from Him and toward false gods that were not Gods at all. In the midst of this context we find the word translated “tattoo marks” in verse 28. It is important to note here that the context of this passage is not one of body décor but one of marking one's self in connection with cultic religious worship.

The “tattoo” marks described in Leviticus 19:28 were clearly related to false religious practices. The word translated tattoo in our English Bibles is the Hebrew word “qa aqa”, this word appears only one time in the Bible, here in this passage Leviticus. The word “qa aqa” means literally “to cut” but taken with the surrounding words indicates a cutting that left a mark imprinted in the skin. This could have been a form of branding, scarring, cutting or a process where ink was inlaid into the skin; there is not enough data to fully define exactly what this word meant. However we translate the word “qa aqa” though, in this passage, it is certainly used in the context of cultic religious worship. The prohibition against “qa aqa”, (translated tattoo) was to keep the Israelites from being involved or affiliated with cultic worship practices.

 The tattoo of today is much different than it was for those who originally received the Pentateuch. (Old Testament) Today tattoos are decorative means of self-expression and personal decoration. In our current culture people modify their appearance for beauty in many ways such as clothing choice, makeup, plastic surgery, haircutting and coloring, weight loss, body-building, and ear piercing.   Some of these practices have a history in ancient ritual and false religion, but in our cultural context they do not denote a connection with evil or false faith. In the same way tattoos today do not link the wearer to cultic worship practices and is not generally practiced for ancient religious purposes, tattoos today are for ornamentation.

A further reason to believe Christians are free to tattoo their bodies is that New Testament believers are not bound by the Old Testament laws to gain or regain right relationship with God. If we were to obey the laws of the Old Testament we would also be bound by rules that would restrict shellfish and pork eating, hairstyles, wearing of clothes made from two different fabrics, even eating cheese on hamburgers (yes, it is true). Some also feel that modifying the body somehow defiles God's creation, but if this was true would it be right to pierce ears, correct a club foot, cut hair, clip nails, get a tan or use a dentist to whiten teeth?

 Each of the previously mentioned practices modifies the way we were originally created, some permanently. Getting a tattoo is a deeply personal choice that falls in the category of personal appearance and is vitally connected to the freedom of the believer. The Apostle Paul reminds us that the Old Testament Law was designed by God to lead people toward Jesus. Now that Jesus has come and set us free, we are not under the law for our good standing with God. Our right standing before God comes from placing our trust in Jesus’ death on the cross to pay for our debts, not on following the Old Testament regulations.

Galatians 3:24–25  So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith.25 Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.

Equal Opportunity?

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined having a felony on my record. Never had any prior convictions nor came close to one. I was a young man with ADD who delivered a large bag of marijuana to an undercover cop in February of 2000.

The cop actually directed me as to where to get the marijuana. In retrospect, he actually orchestrated the whole procedure for me to pick the marijuana up. Then proudly boasted in the local newspaper how he was cleaning up the streets.

 I had no direction in life, thus confirming my actions. Upon conviction, I was under the impression that once I paid my debt to society in the amount of $10,000 and 7 years’ probation, I would be able to move on and live a life of productivity.

After research it has proved to me that the government can stamp a “felony” on anyone’s record carelessly. And even after complete “so called” rehabilitation, you still don’t stand a chance.

I have a good solid work history, not to mention that I was promoted on both jobs. Believe it or not, during the time I was going through my “life changing” situation, I was responsible for running background checks at the Company I worked for.

 Unfortunately, because of the recession, I was laid off from my job. My heart was crushed because I’m now a convicted felon from (12 years ago) looking for a job during a tough economy. This is all new to me because I personally know how employers so brutally judge people with a felony.

I’ve been on countless of interviews, with one wanting to hire me on the spot, that is, until I had to reveal my felony. I’m saying all this to prove that employers DO NOT hire people with a past record, regardless of how qualified you may be. This is a reality in our corporate Country; essentially this has become my reality.

I am certified in a certain technical field, which I received my education through a personal friend who knew me and understood all the details pertaining to my felony. He really helped me out by vaulting for me.

That is the only reason I was able to become certified and receive the accredited education in the technical field. I was laid off on Valentine’s Day. I’ve pursued every avenue, every possibility, yet it’s to no avail.

The reason is simple. Potential employers do not consider the situations encapsulated around ones past. For instance, I was 21 with no job, and all though I was set up; I took responsibility for my actions. Now being in my mid 30’s and actually knowing the law, I realized that if I had proper representation I would have fell into the category of ” entrapment”. I can dwell on that fact or just move on.

I’m at a place now where I actually understand why the TDCJ turn around rate is at 90%. It’s because NO ONE wants to hire felony trash. I believe that one of my missions is to embrace convicted felons and try to direct them into a positive path. As far as me finding a stable job, it’s obvious that I have no choice but to become self-employed.

After the dismissal of my employment, I’ve perused a consultant based position. It’s the only thing I know to do. As I drive down the highway and see illegal immigrants working, I just shake my head, and ask myself why? Land of opportunity? Not so sure about that.

I’m Mickey, and I’m an educated, hardworking, Husband and Father, but according to our democracy, I’m a useless cause, because of a permanent stamp titled FELONY.

Thoughts in Houston

Day #3 of this journey has been somewhat somber. I’m sitting in this Hotel Lobby thinking. The first thought that comes to mind is what doesn’t kill you leaves one hell of a scare, emotionally, mentally and ultimately affecting all aspects of life. This I’ve found to be true. Pain never leaves, it stays with you, and people say you can let it go, but it’s to no avail. Your past is a part of you.

Sitting in this hotel lobby I can’t help but notice this lady with blood shot eyes, as if she’s been crying all day. Part of me wants to ask her if she’s ok, but the other part of me is passive, and I tell myself to mind my own business,

I think tears are for cleansing out the pain we deal with. It’s been a painful month for me personally. My pain tolerance is lost in a desuetude place. I reside in the fact that tomorrow is another day, but what will that day entail? I find myself turning into an eccedentesiant, which is the very thing I’ve always deviated from.

However, I know there’s hope. Every day I’m reminded of this, by a tattoo a have. It simply says “hope” Hope is my belief that circumstances in the future will be better. I’m reminded of an old poem about this bird that continues to sing despite not knowing the words, despite being stuck in a storm, despite the worst of conditions. The singing bird kept others warm, without asking for anything in return.

I hope this lady finds peace with whatever she’s going through.

Mickey Taras

So what I’ve learned today is truth mostly, or at least my perspective of truth. Though every good story has an element of fiction thrown in for effect. The truth about life and faith and people. About seeing big things in small things. And sometimes there’s a little struggling thrown in too, only because it’s best to speak of such dark things while sitting out in the sunshine.

I hung out with the smokers today just to hear conversations over their cigarettes. People from different walks of life standing in a symmetrical uniformed stance, all for the sake of conversation. I saw passion, stress, conflict, and comradery. After class today, a younger guy said, hey Mic, it was cool hanging out today. It made me feel good. I have Five days left on this journey; things will change, hopfully for the good. Who knows? About to go run through the streets of Houston, it’s the best way to end a peaceful day.

Happy New Year?

First day of the year, first thought? Another day. Talking with a dear friend of mind last night he reminded the importance of resolutions. It’s no so much changing who you are, rather it's an outlet to bring a new element to your life.

 Last night we shot fire works with the kids. It was the first time Shay and I were together with the kids in a while. It was plesent, I went home watched the ball dropped, received 50 text messages saying the same old’ monotonous, “Happy New Year” there really wasn’t any reason to respond being that it’s a perception of one expressing their drunken induce exuberance.

It feels good not waking up with a hangover, it reminds me that alcohol doesn’t have to be in my life to have a good time.  Last night could be defined as a reclusive reality. I thought about all the shit in my life, and then pondered on how to change it. It was quite therapeutic. I went to my side of the house and reminisced on the what ifs. Woke up this morning and received a motivating email from a friend who knows my current situation, He simply stated my own mandate, “Be Positive” Thank you for that.

-un educated savant,

Can I borrow my bike?

This morning’s run was pleasant, listened to Austin’s own  “The Lennings”, I’m stuck on this song titled “Bike” It’s driving me crazy!

" I’ll chain it up, keep it safe and the like.  The rain let up.  Don’t you even trust me?  I’ll chain it up.  I’ll chain it up.  Say, is that your new bike?  Is she seaworthy?  And if so, I’d like to take a ride.  Won’t you give me the key?  I’ll chain it up.  I’ll chain it up.  Keep it out the sun.  Get the helium out the tires, and galvanize them post haste.  Bring it back in one piece and I’ll be on a new page, let alone cloud nine.  Can I borrow my bike?  Can I borrow my bike?  What’s becoming of me?  I’ll chain it up.  I’ll chain it up.”

I could go for hours on that one paragraph; however, what’s the possibility of any productivity coming from me racking my brain on a song. I think today I did a great job of not letting it bring the clairvoyant side out of me, that’s all,

Weirdo-